A View From The Bleachers
Here's a taste.......
5 things that annoy me about Mondays
- “How was your weekend?” I realize it is just asked out of politeness but at some point I’m going to break out into this rant so beware: I’m happily married with no kids and an active social life. Of course I had a better weekend than you did. I had sex more than you did, I drank more than you did, I stayed up far later, and slept in until afternoon. Go live vicariously through someone else. Can I maybe catch up with my email now?
- Catching up with email. What in the hell kind of sick life do these people lead that send out email on weekends with actual work shit in them? Like a steaming pile of dung, there it is… bright and bushy-tailed waiting to be read Monday morning. Damn over-achievers… two moments of peace to finish my soda would be nice before being bombarded with little pop-up windows for the 65 new email messages I have.
- “Did you happen to finish the…” No I didn’t. I didn’t work over the weekend either (as far as you know) mainly because my wife was horny and I’m not a twit. The due date for said project isn’t until next week. I have plenty of time. Stop freakin’ bothering me with work shit just so you can break into annoying thing #1.
- Catching up with voicemail. Similar to #2 in many respects, these people actually call and leave voicemails knowing full well that you are not in the office and won’t receive the message until Monday. For email, at least they have the glimmer of hope that you’ll check your email over the weekend. Why in the hell would you call someone’s office and leave a 7-minute voicemail on a weekend?!?!?
- Getting annoyed with me when I don’t ask how your weekend was. If it is any time before noon and/or you don’t see two empty soda cans on my desk then I frankly don’t give a flaming rat turd how your weekend went there Sparky. Maybe this afternoon I’ll have the patience to listen to how your boy read through his first book or how your total hottie 16-yr. old daughter confessed that she’s a lesbian. Until then, all I want to do is actually start working.